Relationship By Design

Bringing Peace, Ease and Freedom to Your Relationships


Unlock your access to the wonder, joy, and fulfillment that is natural to relationship by becoming awake to realities of relationships that you’ve been unaware of up until now.

Put yourselves into explorer mode and discover what almost no one has seen about human relationships - mainly because they haven’t been looking. They certainly haven’t been asking the question: “What is a relationship...really?”

Without knowing what a relationship is, you and countless others, including relationship experts, fall into the common and almost endless pattern of fixing, changing and ending relationships.

When you become aware of what a relationship is - and the default design of human relationships - issues and concerns dissolve and give way to new possibilities - including the possibility of custom designing your relationship based on new and powerful design principles that you will discover with us. 

Relationship By Design has been making a positive difference in relationships all over the world since 2003. We invite you to participate in one of our programs and transform your own relationship now.

"Lon and Sandy led a dynamic, provocative, insightful workshop that left me feeling profoundly connected to my fiancé in a way we had not experienced before. I am more excited than ever to create our future together." ~ Donna R.

"Of all the growth and development courses I’ve done, this one was the most profound in making a difference in my relationships." ~ Carol K.


Sandy and Lon were young parents when they stumbled upon a new way of understanding their lives and life around them. Very soon thereafter, they began to share their discoveries with others. And for the next three decades, they assisted thousands of people in seeing beyond the typical psychological explanations for human behaviors and circumstances. People’s lives were transformed as they gained the power to design their lives rather than be trapped in automatic reactions.

Sandy and Lon Golnick

Sandy & Lon

Co-Creators of Relationship By Design


After spending 30 years working with individual adults, young people, and organizations, Sandy and Lon realized that they could apply transformational methodology to relationships as well as to individuals. They closely examined the nature of human relationships, including their own 40+ year marriage, and they discovered what no one else has talked or written about: you have a lot more to do with how your relationships go than you realize.
Sandy and Lon created Relationship by Design, LLC to continue to explore and share their discoveries and transform relationships. They have been doing that ever since through coaching and workshops, many of them in attractive vacation destinations and on ocean cruises.

Sandy and Lon, now married over 56 years, live in San Marcos, CA, near their two daughters and their six grandchildren.


In 2005, Carol and Paul first joined Sandy and Lon in a workshop with two of their children and were inspired to become their partners in exploring relationships, determined to cut the bonds that constrain people from what’s possible in relationships.

Carol and Paul

Carol & Paul


Carol and Paul had successful careers as a lawyer and as a writer, respectively, before their marriage in 2004. Inspired by the joys and heartbreaks of their previous marriages, they set out to discover what resources might be available to keep their loving relationship on a firm foundation for the rest of their lives. Among the many wise teachers and fellow-explorers they discovered, Sandy and Lon stood out as unique.
Since 2005, Paul and Carol have engaged with Relationship by Design as participants, as supporters, and finally as full partners with Sandy and Lon in designing and leading explorations into Extraordinary Relationship. Simultaneously, they have filled leadership roles in a national organization dedicated to profoundly fulfilling relationships. Inspiring thousands of individuals and couples to explore, create and flourish in relationships has become the vision and mission of their marriage.

Carol and Paul reside in Bethesda, MD, giving Relationship By Design coast-to-coast reach.


In 2016, Zach and Sierra happened to sit next to Carol and Paul in a presentation Sandy and Lon were leading. It was then that they had a vision of an exciting new future – making a positive difference in all kinds of relationships, including romantic, family, work and community relationships. They also realized they could fulfill that future by joining Sandy, Lon, Carol and Paul in Relationship By Design.

Sierra and Zach

Sierra & Zach


A short time later, Zach and Sierra requested to be trained to lead Relationship By Design’s Relationship: THE REAL DESIGN workshop – which they are now doing.

Sierra and Zach live in Seattle, WA (where they both grew up). They are the proud parents of Carnegie and Chamberlain, ages 7 and 4. Currently Zach is a software sales manager and Sierra runs her own clothing boutique online.


Upcoming Workshops

Discover the mechanisms that undermine ALL relationships and gain access to creating Extraordinary Relationships.