Who we are

About Us

We are explorers of relationships. Come along for the adventure of a lifetime!


In 1972...

Sandy and Lon were young parents when they stumbled upon a new way of understanding their lives and life around them. Very soon thereafter, they began to share their discoveries with others. And for the next three decades, they assisted thousands of people in seeing beyond the typical psychological explanations for human behaviors and circumstances. People’s lives were transformed as they gained the power to design their lives rather than be trapped in automatic reactions

Sandy and Lon Golnick

Sandy & Lon

Co-Creators of Relationship By Design

In 2002...

After spending 30 years working with individual adults, young people, and organizations, Sandy and Lon realized that they could apply transformational methodology to relationships as well as to individuals. They closely examined the nature of human relationships, including their own 40+ year marriage, and they discovered what no one else has talked or written about: you have a lot more to do with how your relationships go than you realize.
Sandy and Lon created Relationship by Design, LLC to continue to explore and share their discoveries and transform relationships. They have been doing that ever since through coaching and workshops, many of them in attractive vacation destinations and on ocean cruises.

Sandy and Lon, now married over 58 years, live in Carlsbad, CA, near their two daughters and their six grandchildren.

In 2005...

In 2005, Carol and Paul first joined Sandy and Lon in a workshop with two of their children and were inspired to become their partners in exploring relationships, determined to cut the bonds that constrain people from what’s possible in relationships.

Carol and Paul

Carol & Paul


Carol and Paul had successful careers as a lawyer and as a writer, respectively, before their marriage in 2004. Inspired by the joys and heartbreaks of their previous marriages, they set out to discover what resources might be available to keep their loving relationship on a firm foundation for the rest of their lives. Among the many wise teachers and fellow-explorers they discovered, Sandy and Lon stood out as unique.
Since 2005, Paul and Carol have engaged with Relationship by Design as participants, as supporters, and finally as full partners with Sandy and Lon in designing and leading explorations into extraordinary relationship. Simultaneously, they have filled leadership roles in a national organization dedicated to profoundly fulfilling relationships. Inspiring thousands of individuals and couples to explore, create and flourish in relationships has become the vision and mission of their marriage.

Carol and Paul reside in Bethesda, MD, giving Relationship By Design coast-to-coast reach.

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