Carol&Paul

Carol and Paul were inspired to join Sandy and Lon in RelationshipByDesign after experiencing first-hand their unique perspective on relationship. “We want more people to have this,” they decided, and stepped into leadership, becoming the east-coast partners in RelationshipByDesign.

Random Thoughts

from our own experiences in "relationship" and workshops with you.

17

June'20

What if a Snarky Remark is a Red Flag?

It happened to us, and opened a door to greater intimacy.

By
Carol&Paul

24

Sept'18

What Legacies Are Your Relationships Leaving in Their Wake?

Eventually, most people give some thought to the inheritance they’ll leave when they die: the money, property, possessions.

By
Carol&Paul

7

Dec'21

Connecting: Grief and Love in Community

Carol and Paul are sending this reflection on the Exploring Extraordinary Relationship workshop that took place last month.

By
Carol&Paul

26

Mar'20

Can You “Story Your Way to a Happy Relationship”?

It's a trap!

By
Carol&Paul

23

Feb'17

Cracking the door to a “we” relationship

In Relationship By Design, we assert that mastering relationships has a lot to do with moving a relationship from being about “I” to being about “we,” without leaving “I” out.

By
Carol&Paul

23

Jan'19

How Does Money Become a Problem in Relationship?

Does money crop up as a problem in your relationship?

By
Carol&Paul

27

Mar'21

On the Defensive?

We hear many conversations between spouses, partners, and family members. And what do we hear a lot? People defending something.

By
Carol&Paul

11

Sept'16

Time to retire?

...what you determine to be the causes of your behaviors often serves only to justify those behaviors and your view of them.

By
Carol&Paul

17

Sept'17

Myth #2: Relationships are what you do

How many times have you heard someone say, “We’re working on our relationship”? Have you said something like that yourself?

By
Carol&Paul

29

Oct'16

Is it all really about me?

"...about a week later, I caught myself complaining to Paul that he is always telling me how to park the car in the garage."

By
Carol&Paul

8

June'21

Hard Conversations

Did you ever wonder what might make a conversation seem “hard?”

By
Carol&Paul

15

June'18

Is Your Relationship a Private Island?

A reflection from Carol and Paul.

By
Carol&Paul

19

Oct'21

Relationship Moving from Story to Experience

This week, Carol writes about her recent 10-day demonstration of how action transforms relationships from remembered stories into vivid present experiences.

By
Carol&Paul

19

July'21

Steadfastness and Freedom

The best and strongest promises are made in order to create a future that would not otherwise happen.

By
Carol&Paul

16

May'19

Where did the romance go?

“Romance is missing,” our friend said.

By
Carol&Paul

20

Nov'19

Irritations In Relationships

The issues that you have been dealing with, trying to fix, or just plain tolerating dissolve/disappear simply in being in relationship

By
Carol&Paul

17

Feb'19

I Want This Relationship to Last!

Thoughts on enduring relationships.

By
Carol&Paul

5

May'20

Anxiety and Relationship in Uncertain Times

Uncertainty seems to be in our faces these days...

By
Carol&Paul

15

Sept'21

Focus on Relationship #2 -- Yes and No in Relationship

Do you want your life to be “under control”? (Which means, of course, your control!)

By
Carol&Paul

17

Sept'19

Are We Doing Politics The Way We Do Relationships?

There’s a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in American politics today. There’s a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in relationships, too. Could there be a connection?

By
Carol&Paul

25

May'21

Working On Your Relationship?

... we became aware that it took a lot of effort, a lot of work, to hold on.

By
Carol&Paul

11

Apr'21

What We Noticed About Relationships While Working in the Garden

Is there any dead weight keeping your relationship from growing naturally?

By
Carol&Paul

17

Sept'17

Myth #1: Relationship is a feeling

What happens when you feel lonely in your relationship?

By
Carol&Paul

22

Jan'20

Ordinary to Extraordinary… in a moment

How do people move from ordinary relationship to extraordinary relationship?

By
Carol&Paul

28

Nov'17

A Relationship Isn’t a Title

Families can sometimes seem complicated. But the experience of family is really quite simple… and profound.

By
Carol&Paul

10

Nov'21

Connecting: Confused

Carol has been reflecting on the relationships that have shaped her life.

By
Carol&Paul

11

Sept'16

Turning your partner into furniture

Your relationship is not furniture. But if you are going to continue to speak and behave as though it is furniture, then at least emphasize its attractiveness so that you can enjoy it.

By
Carol&Paul