Sandy&Lon

After spending 30 years working with individual adults, young people, and organizations, Sandy and Lon realized that they could apply transformational methodology to relationships as well as to individuals. They closely examined the nature of human relationships, including their own 40+ year marriage, and they discovered what no one else has talked or written about: you have a lot more to do with how your relationships go than you realize. Sandy and Lon created Relationship by Design, LLC to continue to explore and share their discoveries and transform relationships.

Random Thoughts

from our own experiences in "relationship" and workshops with you.

16

April 20

Our “Distancing Relationship” Community Zoom Call

Peace, ease, and freedom in ALL your relationships

By
Sandy&Lon

30

Jan'20

Podcast Episode 10 Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 2

A deeper look into fear in relationship

By
Sandy&Lon

10

Mar'20

Great Relationships Don’t Just Happen

and they aren’t produced by fixing ordinary relationships.

By
Sandy&Lon

26

Aug'16

Purpose for relationship

“True happiness…is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” ~ Helen Keller

By
Sandy&Lon

20

Aug'17

Then what (in your relationship)?

It’s a fantasy to think that there is some magic formula that will turn your ordinary relationship into an extraordinary relationship all the time and forever.

By
Sandy&Lon

15

Oct'19

Is Resignation Shaping Your Relationship?

If you really listen to yourselves talking about your relationships, you’ll hear how often you exaggerate with “always” and “never."

By
Sandy&Lon

20

Aug'17

Relationships: A rough road?

You may be having a rough ride down a road. But it doesn’t matter how many potholes you fix if you are riding on square wheels.

By
Sandy&Lon

19

July'19

Suffering In Relationship part 2

We remember when a man said to Lon’s dad at his mother’s memorial service, “It’s ok, Fritz, the suffering doesn’t last long,” and Lon’s dad answered, “I’m not suffering. I’m just sad.” We’ll not forget the lesson of that day: suffering doesn’t exist in the circumstances; suffering is a way of relating to the circumstances.

By
Sandy&Lon

18

June'17

Projects and Promises

Guest post by Carol & Jeff England

By
Sandy&Lon

25

Aug'20

Fighting in Relationships

You cannot get rid of your point of view even if you tried.

By
Sandy&Lon

19

Feb'20

Podcast Episode 11 Strike 3: Hostile Backdrop

An Individual-based paradigm

By
Sandy&Lon

17

Feb'19

When is it Time to Leave a Relationship?

You will probably find as many different answers to the question as the number of people you ask, even though some may be similar.

By
Sandy&Lon

9

Aug'20

Are You Working On Your Relationship?

After a carefully planned day went astray, we resolved to “get better” at carrying out our plans. Then we started to laugh at ourselves.

By
Sandy&Lon

14

Oct'20

Social ? Distancing

When we adopted the phrase “social distancing,” we subtly inserted an impediment to being together.

By
Sandy&Lon

4

Dec'19

When A Friend’s Relationship Isn’t Working

What do you do when a friend’s relationship isn’t working?

By
Sandy&Lon

19

Jan'19

Getting Your Relationships in Shape

January 2019 Newsletter

By
Sandy&Lon

18

June'17

A relationship is a game

A game is designed around a purpose – a reason for playing the game.

By
Sandy&Lon

19

May'20

Stop Working and Go Exploring

It may be worthwhile to take a break from working on your relationship and to start exploring the nature and design of relationships!

By
Sandy&Lon

24

May'18

Why Relationships Don’t Last?!

Our definitions for marriage and relationship are often shaped by our past (what we saw and were exposed to growing up) or what we have seen in movies, books, and the latest celebrity news …. No wonder we’re confused!!

By
Sandy&Lon

24

Jan'17

Seeing when you’re stuck in ordinary

As you begin this new year we wish you lots of experiences of freedom, ease and fulfillment in your relationships in 2017.

By
Sandy&Lon

23

July'17

Vive la difference

Lon’s draw to Sandy? She was so different from him, offering new and different views of life and living.

By
Sandy&Lon

14

July'20

Fears in Relationships

Were you ever told “Don’t be afraid” or “Be brave” or “Be strong” when you were young and afraid?

By
Sandy&Lon

21

June'19

Suffering in Relationships part 1

Have you ever really suffered in a relationship?

By
Sandy&Lon

17

Oct'17

Relationships and Money

Why is money almost always an issue in relationships, even when there’s no shortage of money?

By
Sandy&Lon

3

June'20

Relationship - What's love got to do with it?

What is the way of being that we call loving?

By
Sandy&Lon

23

July'17

Extraordinary relationships

As we identify more design features of extraordinary relationships, we are left with new questions and possibilities for our relationships.

By
Sandy&Lon

1

Nov'17

Your Experience of Relationship

Your experience of relationship is all a matter of where you are standing and looking from.

By
Sandy&Lon

25

Feb'20

How Does Relationship By Design Compare With Other Transformational Work?

What distinguishes Relationship By Design?

By
Sandy&Lon

11

Apr;20

Our Country

War of words

By
Sandy&Lon

8

Jan'20

Getting Your Relationships In Shape

There are no easily accessible gyms for building healthy relationships.

By
Sandy&Lon

15

Aug'19

Strong, Lasting Relationships

Does your relationship have what it takes to last?

By
Sandy&Lon

2

April'18

Is your relationship stuck in reverse?

Are you trying to move your relationship forward while putting it in reverse?

By
Sandy&Lon

14

Feb'18

Transforming Relationships

Perhaps, when you see that you’ll never escape from the 1 + 1 = 2 mathematics of relationship, you might enjoy inventing and exploring another mathematics of relationship in which 1 + 1 = 1.

By
Sandy&Lon

29

Oct'16

Relationships get in the way

Do you have too much to do to be able to make time for your relationships?

By
Sandy&Lon

4

Mar'20

Podcast Episode 12 Relationships: Arrangements and Understandings

There’s an understanding about how to behave

By
Sandy&Lon

30

June'20

Misunderstandings in Relationships

Misunderstandings as a function of not listening

By
Sandy&Lon

28

July'20

Arguments in Relationship

Is your point of view really more important than your relationship?

By
Sandy&Lon

23

Feb'17

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it

Have you ever heard someone say “He always…” or “She never…”?

By
Sandy&Lon

1

Oct'17

Breaking Through vs. Backing Out

Something beyond the ordinary is possible, and can happen, when you persist through a “down time”.

By
Sandy&Lon

22

April'20

When your relationship isn’t working, what should you do?

Well, our first question for you is, “Are you willing to set aside your penchant to fix, change or leave your relationship?”

By
Sandy&Lon

14

Feb'18

The Mathematics of Relationship

To have a fulfilling relationship (the 1), you must be willing to uncover the concerns, the expectations and the focus of the 1 X 1 together.

By
Sandy&Lon

25

Sept'18

“You Are SO Exasperating!”

Do you ever find yourself really exasperated in a relationship—at home or at work? What do you think produces that exasperation?

By
Sandy&Lon

12

Aug'20

Attraction

The real question is not “What if…?” It’s “When…, then what?”

By
Sandy&Lon