Arguments in Relationship

How is it that some people can have an argument with their partner and there is no loss of affinity, while others have an argument with their partner and it results in ever more distance between them?

How is it that some can freely expound their points of view to each other while others hold back in expressing their points of view for fear of losing their relationship?

We see two things at work here. First, if you are more than fervent, if you are totally attached to your point of view, the argument will turn into a battle for survival, with attacks and counterattacks. Second, if you have a promise in place to be together no matter what, you will not allow your arguments to damage your partner because you really don’t want to live or work with a wounded partner. 

Our son-in-law, grandson and Lon had a big, loud and passionate argument a few nights ago and Lon left them with big hugs, instead of any upset or animosity, because our family relationships are more important to us than our attachment to our individual points of view. The argument is now a fun memory. 

How about you? Is your point of view really more important than your relationship? How do you see it?

Lon&Sandy