Projects and Promises

Guest post by Carol & Jeff England

June 18, 2017

Several years ago, we were going through some times of upsets and frustrations with each other. Most of our attention was on trying to avoid what we were afraid might happen to our relationship and to each of us.

A few years ago in one of the Exploring Extraordinary Relationships workshops we became clear that making promises to each other in order to avoid the repetition of past breakdowns does not produce an exciting life together. When we discovered that the true purpose of making promises is to turn possibilities into reality, we dedicated ourselves to making up projects that we could accomplish together that would enhance our home and our relationship.

One project we created was to get trees and other plants around our home trimmed, with each of us taking on different tasks. It was a big job, and best done by two people, one on the ladder up in the tree and one on the ground. Of course Jeff went up the ladder. He tied ropes around the large branches, and after sawing those branches, he lowered them to the ground. I dragged them to the driveway, where we worked together to cut them to fit in the yard waste bin.

We took on Jeff’s health as another project. We set up his physicals, altered our diet, exercised together, and relaxed together. Within 6 months, we saw the improvements, and now we are maintaining them. Jeff has had to buy new slacks because his waist is now a few sizes smaller.

Most recently we completed a project to pay off our business loan by the end of the 2017. We talked, sought advice, created a plan, and got to work. We paid off the loan last month!

Our current project is a vacation with our children and grandchildren in Kauai, Hawaii. We came up with the idea two years ago in the Relationships and Dreaming workshop, and we’re making the dream come true in June.  We’ve had a great time including our whole family in the planning and in the making and keeping of promises to fulfill all of our plans.

The benefits that dreaming together, conceiving projects, and making and fulfilling the promises to complete those projects have provided for our relationship have been immeasurable. So we’re not going to stop “projecting” and promising.

More To Read

Find out more about relationship.

07

June 22

WHAT OUR PUPPY TAUGHT US ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

Just now we heard an odd scratching sound and found our puppy, Molly, trying to bury a rawhide chew stick in the couch. She was quite systematic, tucking it deep between the cushions and using her nose to push dirt on top of it.

By
Carol&Paul

17

Sept'17

Myth #2: Relationships are what you do

How many times have you heard someone say, “We’re working on our relationship”? Have you said something like that yourself?

By
Carol&Paul

17

June'20

What if a Snarky Remark is a Red Flag?

It happened to us, and opened a door to greater intimacy.

By
Carol&Paul

9

Aug'20

Are You Working On Your Relationship?

After a carefully planned day went astray, we resolved to “get better” at carrying out our plans. Then we started to laugh at ourselves.

By
Sandy&Lon

19

July'21

Steadfastness and Freedom

The best and strongest promises are made in order to create a future that would not otherwise happen.

By
Carol&Paul

23

Jan'19

How Does Money Become a Problem in Relationship?

Does money crop up as a problem in your relationship?

By
Carol&Paul
VIEW ALL ARTICLES