Upset in your relationship - Part 2

When you find yourself getting upset or frustrated in your relationship...

February 15, 2021

When you find yourself getting upset or frustrated in your relationship, and doing a lot of defending and accusing, we suggest that you stop and reconsider that no one is to blame - that you’ve fallen prey to some automatic and unexamined expectations - expectations that aren’t even yours.  

For the most part, you didn’t originate your expectations. They were already waiting for you when you were born. You inherited them. They are mostly the same ones that your parents and your parents’ parents have or have had. And they’re very similar to the expectations that countless others have had.  

You were born into a vast number of expectations about life and relationships, and that number has undoubtedly increased over your lifetime. It happens without your even being aware of it. And many of those expectations are not fulfillable. They’re rooted in fantasy! 

So you entered into your relationship with expectations firmly in place. To the extent that you become aware of those expectations and release your attachment to them - since they’re not yours anyway - there is a new space for closeness and intimacy in your relationship.

In RelationshipByDesign courses and workshops, you become aware of your inherited expectations, watch upsets dissolve, and get on with creating a fulfilling future together. We invite you to join us.

Our best wishes for you,
Sandy&Lon and Carol&Paul 

More To Read

Find out more about relationship.

23

Feb'17

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it

Have you ever heard someone say “He always…” or “She never…”?

By
Sandy&Lon

30

Oct'30

What you want in a Relationship?

“I want you to…” is a very common phrase in relationships.

By
Sandy&Lon

19

Oct'21

Relationship Moving from Story to Experience

This week, Carol writes about her recent 10-day demonstration of how action transforms relationships from remembered stories into vivid present experiences.

By
Carol&Paul

10

Nov'21

Connecting: Confused

Carol has been reflecting on the relationships that have shaped her life.

By
Carol&Paul

18

June'17

Projects and Promises

Guest post by Carol & Jeff England

By
Sandy&Lon

17

June'20

What if a Snarky Remark is a Red Flag?

It happened to us, and opened a door to greater intimacy.

By
Carol&Paul
VIEW ALL ARTICLES