When A Friend’s Relationship Isn’t Working

What do you do when a friend’s relationship isn’t working?

December 4, 2019

What do you do when a friend’s relationship isn’t working?

Mostly what people do is become co-conspirators in directing the blame to the one who is at fault, become amateur coaches, counselors or therapists, or become brokers in directing the friend to a coach, counselor, or therapist. The probable success of the first two tactics is minimal; the third approach often results in making a difference. 

What often seems to be in the background of the actions that people take in the case of a friend’s relationship not working is a sense of the friend’s helplessness. Indeed, the friend may actively or passively express helplessness – an inability to deal with and resolve the issues in his/her relationship. Seldom do you get a sense of your friend’s power – and responsibility – to resolve the issue or issues. So you may feel compelled to do something about your friend’s situation. 

But is there anything that you – or anyone – can do to guarantee the resolution of your friend’s relationship issue(s)? Of course there isn’t. Relationship professionals will acknowledge that. Only the actions of your friend – and of the other in his/her relationship – will produce a resolution of their issue(s).         

Yet there might be an access to make a difference in your friend’s actions and relationship without knowing what to do and how to do it. You might be effective in making a difference by doing nothing but standing for – and expressing your stand for – your friend’s success in his/her relationship. 

You might simply engage your friend in conversations in which he/she sees his/her power to be the difference and to live the difference he/she wants to have in his/her relationship.

Wishing you strong, lasting friendships,

Sandy&Lon, Carol&Paul, Sierra&Zach

More To Read

Find out more about relationship.

2

April'18

Is your relationship stuck in reverse?

Are you trying to move your relationship forward while putting it in reverse?

By
Sandy&Lon

14

Feb'18

Transforming Relationships

Perhaps, when you see that you’ll never escape from the 1 + 1 = 2 mathematics of relationship, you might enjoy inventing and exploring another mathematics of relationship in which 1 + 1 = 1.

By
Sandy&Lon

21

June'21

Fantasies in relationships

You can get a sense of the grip that the fantasies have on you as you become aware of how often “always” and its counterpart “never” come out of your mouth.

By
Sandy&Lon

26

Aug'16

Purpose for relationship

“True happiness…is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” ~ Helen Keller

By
Sandy&Lon

24

May'18

Why Relationships Don’t Last?!

Our definitions for marriage and relationship are often shaped by our past (what we saw and were exposed to growing up) or what we have seen in movies, books, and the latest celebrity news …. No wonder we’re confused!!

By
Sandy&Lon

23

July'17

Extraordinary relationships

As we identify more design features of extraordinary relationships, we are left with new questions and possibilities for our relationships.

By
Sandy&Lon
VIEW ALL ARTICLES