When A Friend’s Relationship Isn’t Working

What do you do when a friend’s relationship isn’t working?

December 4, 2019

What do you do when a friend’s relationship isn’t working?

Mostly what people do is become co-conspirators in directing the blame to the one who is at fault, become amateur coaches, counselors or therapists, or become brokers in directing the friend to a coach, counselor, or therapist. The probable success of the first two tactics is minimal; the third approach often results in making a difference. 

What often seems to be in the background of the actions that people take in the case of a friend’s relationship not working is a sense of the friend’s helplessness. Indeed, the friend may actively or passively express helplessness – an inability to deal with and resolve the issues in his/her relationship. Seldom do you get a sense of your friend’s power – and responsibility – to resolve the issue or issues. So you may feel compelled to do something about your friend’s situation. 

But is there anything that you – or anyone – can do to guarantee the resolution of your friend’s relationship issue(s)? Of course there isn’t. Relationship professionals will acknowledge that. Only the actions of your friend – and of the other in his/her relationship – will produce a resolution of their issue(s).         

Yet there might be an access to make a difference in your friend’s actions and relationship without knowing what to do and how to do it. You might be effective in making a difference by doing nothing but standing for – and expressing your stand for – your friend’s success in his/her relationship. 

You might simply engage your friend in conversations in which he/she sees his/her power to be the difference and to live the difference he/she wants to have in his/her relationship.

Wishing you strong, lasting friendships,

Sandy&Lon, Carol&Paul, Sierra&Zach

More To Read

Find out more about relationship.

3

June'20

Relationship - What's love got to do with it?

What is the way of being that we call loving?

By
Sandy&Lon

19

Feb'20

Podcast Episode 11 Strike 3: Hostile Backdrop

An Individual-based paradigm

By
Sandy&Lon

28

July'20

Arguments in Relationship

Is your point of view really more important than your relationship?

By
Sandy&Lon

14

Feb'18

Transforming Relationships

Perhaps, when you see that you’ll never escape from the 1 + 1 = 2 mathematics of relationship, you might enjoy inventing and exploring another mathematics of relationship in which 1 + 1 = 1.

By
Sandy&Lon

23

Feb'17

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it

Have you ever heard someone say “He always…” or “She never…”?

By
Sandy&Lon

25

Sept'18

“You Are SO Exasperating!”

Do you ever find yourself really exasperated in a relationship—at home or at work? What do you think produces that exasperation?

By
Sandy&Lon
VIEW ALL ARTICLES